Losing 5 cents

Friday's bible study on David was about leaving a legacy. A number of different things have been happening this week, and although most were not related, they've all brought the message very close to my heart. Thus, the past week has been a pensive one, and I've been engulfed by a sense of melancholy. Not depressed, just melancholic... with much to think about, too much on my mind, too much that I need and want to do, too little time, and too little sleep. As a result, my mind has been a mess of disconnected thoughts, and if you've had a chat with me during the past week, I'm sure it's been evident... apologies.

I've been hit with the realisation and magnitude of how much I've fallen and strayed away. Of my aimless wandering through life. Of how I've lacked direction and purpose, and how I'd lost my focus. Of the fallen state of the world we live in. Of the selfishness and shallowness in life. Of how much my life has focused on surviving, instead of really living. Of how I'd been shackled by my fears. Of what a mess I've made trying to rely on myself. Of how God has nevertheless held on to me and never let go. Of His faithfulness and mercy. Of how dependent on Him I truly am. Of how He has guided me through all my troubles and difficult moments. Of how He's blessed me so much. Sola gracia, only by grace. His and His alone.

When I'm weary, and each day seems to be the same as the next, I take comfort in knowing that after I fall asleep each night, I'll wake up and it'll be a brand new day, with brand new promises, new mercies, new hopes, and new joys.
I need to appreciate the little joys that make each day different, and also to make differences in the days of the people around me. I've been in survival-mode far too long.

If you set a 5-cent coin right before your eyes, all you will see of the world is a mere 5-cents worth.
Lose the 5 cents... and gain the world.

God has so much more planned for us. I've been distracted, caught up in the insignificant things in life, and lost my focus. I need to refocus, to see the bigger picture, get back on track, and aim for greater things (while staying realistic, of course :)

It doesn't matter how well or how terribly we start the race, it's how we run it and how we finish that is most important. Still, in a way, life is not always a race... perhaps more of a journey. To be travelled with others, not competing against them; to encourage and build up, not to hurt or tear down. After all, we're all in this together.

There are a lot of things in myself that need to be worked on and changed. It isn't all smooth-sailing. But I still hope to finish this journey well, to finish hand-in-hand with those whom I cherish and love, and to hopefully have made a positive difference to the journeys of those I've met along the way.

May that be my legacy...