C.S.I.

I'm a C.S.I. fan, :) so I was quite happy to watch my first episode of C.S.I. in several weeks. We usually hold bible study preparations on Tuesday nights, however since we're holding the OCF AGM instead this Friday, I made use of the extra time that was 'freed up' last night to watch an episode of C.S.I., do some reading, and let my thoughts wander.

Although I've had several months of practice, it still isn't easy sometimes to facilitate the bible studies. I get quite jittery if there's an awkward silence when no one speaks up to answer a question, so it's always a relief when someone contributes their answers, and when everyone participates in the discussions. Sometimes, however, I've wondered... how many of these answers come from true conviction? And how many of them are just 'textbook answers'?

It's often easy to guess the 'right' answer, or to give the 'desired' answers to most questions ('textbook answers'). But how many of us really mean what we say? When asked what we have learnt from the study, it's easy to quote and summarise the lessons and objectives of the study, but how many of us truly learn and remember the lessons? Do we go back changed, or do we quote exemplary answers for an hour, then return to life as before, shove what we've learnt to the back of our heads, then quote them again for an hour during the next bible study a week later?

It sounds cynical, but how often do we find ourselves doing that... quoting 'textbook answers' to questions, quoting scripture, and yet find ourselves acting in contradiction to what we say? : 'Love one another'... yet we struggle with prejudice. 'Trust in His timing'... while we grind our teeth in frustration. 'Do not judge'... while viewing the world with a critical eye. 'Forgive and show grace to others'... while clinging to hurt and resentment. 'Be humble'... while pride tweaks at our egos. 'Surrender it to Him'... yet refusing to totally let go. They're phrases that are easy to quote, easy to use in discussions, but not all that easy to live out. They're things that I struggle with too. But understanding and change need to come from within, not just from an increase in 'head- knowledge'.

Bible study isn't just an academic pursuit, or an exercise for 'the best-sounding answer'. We need to see that God is in it too, after all, it is called the 'Living Word' for a reason... and I need to remind myself of that constantly too.

Are our answers only textbook answers that are held in the head, or do they come from a conviction inside our hearts? We may talk about the walk, but are we walking the talk? Do we practise what we preach? Do we live by all the principles that we discuss? Do we say something, and really mean it, believe it, and live it out?

There's still a lot that I need to work on. Hopefully, there'll be more of another C.S.I. in my life ...

Cultivating

Sanctity

Inside

C.S.I. :)

May the lessons and principles that we learn be held in our hearts, and may we grow together in God's grace and knowledge.