Estimated

Is it harder when you are underestimated by others...

Or is it more difficult when others overestimate you...?

When you struggle to prove yourself... or when you struggle to live up to standards that you cannot meet?

I don't quite know anymore.

All I can do is pray and persevere onward.

Marking

Imagine the people marking your exams, huddled in a cold, dark room during winter. They have to scrutinise and go through several hundred exam papers... If your handwriting is messy and hard to read, that would only make them more irritated, and give you less marks.

We used to laugh at such an image. Back in secondary school, our teachers always told us the same story... It was used too often, and seemed too exaggerated and unreal.

Anyway, who cared about the people marking our papers, when we were desperately trying to write as much as possible before they told us to put our pens down? Who could blame us for our messy handwriting, when there was always too much to write and too little time :)

Now, I think I'm starting to understand what they were talking about.

It's cold, it's dark (outside), and I've spent the last 2.5 hours going cross-eyed over a stack of lab reports. Don't get me wrong, demonstrating is very enjoyable, it's just the marking bit that I don't look forward to :) At least I'm getting better at deciphering peoples' handwriting... If they ever told me that story again, I'd probably shiver instead of laugh :)

16 lab reports marked, 22 more to go...

(Comics taken from www.phdcomics.com)

Mass quiz

Got this as an email from a friend, and decided to post it here instead of mass mailing it out and clogging peoples' mailboxes :) Also deleted some of the questions so that it wouldn't be too long :
~~~

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My 'Jazz Moods' CD.

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Twilight blue. Anything except psychedelic neon pink/yellow/orange.

WHO'S YOUR FAVOURITE ACTOR?
Roberto Benigni, in 'Life is beautiful' (an Italian film)

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Contented :) Church in the morning, prepared for Monday's tutorial in the afternoon, napped for 2 hours (my first nap in weeks!), had dinner with friends, and now chatting on msn.

FAVOURITE DRINK?
Iced chocolate. With a large scoop of ice cream.

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
A Muscat (type of fortified wine, rich and yummy).

FAVOURITE SPORTS?
Anything that doesn't require too much hand-eye coordination :)

HAIR COLOUR?
Black, natural, and proud of it just the way it is :) May consider colouring it later, but not for now...

EYE COLOUR?
Dark brown.

FAVOURITE MONTH?
December, when I get to meet up with family and friends whom I miss dearly, and Christmas!

FAVOURITE FOOD?
Anything that I don't cook (haha). Ipoh Hor fun. Steak. Chocolate. Cheese. Seaweed. Sushi. Kim Chi. Emperors chicken. Shanghai dumplings. Vietnamese beef noodles...

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Next one will be X-Men 3!

SUMMER OR WINTER?
Neither. Spring, when you see the beautiful flowers and young animals.

HUGS OR KISSES?
A warm, solid, loving hug.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
You're talking to a choc-a-holic. Hee.

WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Principles of Biochemistry (Lehninger), The Case for Christ, The Wallflower.

WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Marked 18 lab reports, had dinner, baked chocolate chip cookies (and ate some), called home, chatted with friends.

FAVOURITE SMELLS?
The fresh morning air on a hill/mountain-top. Freshly cleaned linen. Smell of rain just before a storm.

FAVOURITE CAR?
Classic Jaguars. Of course, whether I can afford one is a different question altogether :)

FAVOURITE FLOWER?
Tiger lilies.

CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Can literally juggle 2 tennis balls. Also metaphorically trying to 'juggle' my commitments.

WHAT DID U DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Had lab experiments in the day, combined summer OCF meet in the evening, a surprise birthday party at night, and crabbing from 12 midnight to 8am the next morning. A full 24-hours of activities :)

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKEUP?
How much longer can I snooze??

~~~
And I'll probably be thinking that when I wake up tomorrow morning.
Will be killing 75 of the fish that I've been rearing, to start testing for chemicals and enzymes in their flesh.

Always up to something fishy in our labs...

Mum

Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times
I forgot
Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong
Dry your eyes

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed
Along the way
And I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

- Mama (by Il Divo)

~~~

I know that words cannot sufficiently encompass all that you've done for me, and I'm still getting there... thank you for the lifetime of love you've blessed me with.
I'd already said this when we chatted last night, but since you read this blog regularly, I'll say it here again :)

Happy Mothers' Day, Mum.

I love you.

Conference

It seems like everyone in the Biology Faculty has gone overseas for a conference...

Kim went to Hawaii for a conference
Claire and Cathy went to Germany for a conference
Melanie went to Europe to present her paper at a conference
Vivek, Chevaun, and Tanya went to France for a conference
Su went to Beijing for a conference
Alex, Janene, and Kathy are in Italy for a conference

Me?
Still patiently awaiting my turn to go for an overseas conference. For that, I'll need to get some results that I can present, so... I'll need to work even harder (and get more luck with my experiments too :)

In the meantime, I'm going to the Biology tea-room... My stomach is going to have a conference with my lunch.